Maybe I just haven’t met one that I liked. At least not for my kid. I went to the appointment last week. The doctor that is the ADHD specialist insisted he visit with a psychologist before she would treat him. I don’t know why I swallowed the fly….What I mean to say is I don’t know why I even bother with the medical community. The only thing they have to offer is to drug him. Even the doctor thinks he’s too skinny.
Anyway, so I went to the psychologist. He asks Charlie questions like “What makes you mad?”, “What makes you sad?” and “Do you want to kill anyone?” and after a few minutes he says he has ADHD, and asks Charlie if he will go to the other room while Mommy and me talk. The other rooms consists of not much that hasn’t been colored on by other kids and a dry erase wall. The Dr turns on the monitor and I hear Charlie get bored in about 5 seconds. I jump up and find Charlie in the break room looting the chocolate bars that were in a bowl on the table.
The Dr calls Charlie ‘sneaky’ and is surprised that I knew what was up. Really? I know I blow off a lot of behaviors. I have to. But it isn’t because I am stupid. It’s because I am sane, or in of the sane. There isn’t much difference when you are a parent, I assure you. Anyway, we bring Charlie back in with us because their playroom sucks. And after considering my options, and not really wanting to, – because really, does the kid need more candy? – I use the chocolate to bring about the behaviors that I want. Draw me a picture and I will pay you in chocolate. The doctor tells me that I need to be more specific with my asking and my rewarding. So when I was floundering in my disgust at giving the kid candy I was fucking up. Great. But I apparently recovered when I started paying Charlie in chocolate. I know it makes sense in the immediate, but what about the longer term? Is there a long term when dealing with the ADHD mind? I understand bribing your kids/rewarding them, but when do they learn to do stuff because you are just supposed to? When do you teach them about inner rewards?
Then, Charlie started using the pencil to poke the chair upholstery, because honestly, everything can and will be weaponized. I couldn’t get him to stop and guess what? Neither could the doctor. So this is the guy I want to use as an ADHD parenting coach?
No, I just need to drink a little more.